She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
