Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
