He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
