ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
