Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
