Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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