um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
