My brain says no but my pants say off.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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