remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
