we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
