It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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