Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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