OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
