So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
