Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
