so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize