It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Come on in and take your pants off
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