I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
