Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
