you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
