Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
