bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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