So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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