After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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