the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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