so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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