Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
