32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
