my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I need water and some morals
Randomize
