you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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