All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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