I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
