after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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