I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
