We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
