So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
