WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
