what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize