If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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