She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
