did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
