Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
