Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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