just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
