The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
