I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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