dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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