Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
