Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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