i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
