it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
