Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
