i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just pee around me
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
