so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
