You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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