So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
