Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
