just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
