I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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