two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
