Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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