If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
