It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
