Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
